Sidney: Yes, please. Mama? You look tired.
Me: I'm just a little sad. I found out this morning one of my short stories was rejected by a literary magazine.
Sidney: Oh Mama! It's okay. When you're a writer, that happens. You just gotta be sad for two minutes, then get on up to the next one and be happy.
Pretty good advice, from a ten year old. There are a lot of things going on right now, bad and hurtful things, things out of my control. Draining my energy. Zapping my creativity. The magazine rejection is the latest, though easiest of them all to manage.
But, Sidney's right. Sometimes, being happy is a choice to make. Rather than give in to the sadness, the feelings of helplessness and despair, I can power through what I can't change, channeling every force in my heart with intention. Staying positive, standing tall. Life's too short to wallow in the negative.
Sidney lifted my spirits with her support. Now, I'm off to cheer her on through her fourth grade's Field Day. Sack races, water balloon wars, wet washcloth relays -- all under a cloudless, cerulean sky ruled by the hot, Georgian sun. May children's laughter sate my soul.
I look forward to reading your blogs this afternoon. In the meantime, do writers respond to rejection letters, form or personal, from literary magazines? What about rejection letters from agents and publishers? Any advice is greatly appreciated!
(Artwork by Steve Keefer)
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55 comments:
Sidney is a smart girl. I'm glad she was there to cheer you up.
It's funny because I said I had "The Blues" as the first line of yesterday's post. Sometimes it's hard to be happy when life throws a lot of punches.
Most days, I handle rejection well. I expect it. But sometimes a certain one leaves me upset for a day or two. It depends on my state of mind and how much hope I had for that agent or contest.
We're pursuing a tough dream. Hang in there!
So much wisdom! Thank her, and thank you.
I don't respond to rejection letters. I used to save them but now I delete them ALL right away. And then I send the story elsewhere!
I start with the pro magazines and work my way down the ladder. Mostly I make it into amateur magazines for a small payment and that's it. But we have to keep trying.
Send it somewhere else!
Your daughter is a smart girl :)
Good call Sidney!
My advice would be NEVER respond to rejection. Just chalk it up to their loss and move on.
That being said, when I was a completely ignorant novice I did respond. Once. It's very embarrassing but I DID end up learning a lot. You can read about it here. Still I would say don't do it though.
I'm so glad Sidney was able to lift your spirits some this morning! Her words couldn't have been spoken better. I need to remember them at times in my own life. Hope you have a great day with that sweet girl! Love you friend!
Don't you love when your kids pick yo0u up like that? I hope you enjoyed field day and smiled lots.
thanks for sharing this!
I'm sorry about the rejection, but it sounds like you have a great cheerleader in your daughter. :)
I don't respond to rejections. However, I have heard on an agent's blog that if someone sends you a personalized rejection with a lot of feedback, it's okay to send a brief thank you. Otherwise, it's best to let it lie.
Wow, smart ten-year-old. I love it!
Sidney is a wise ten year old!
I don't respond to rejections, unless the rejection calls for my response in some way, such as inviting me to send in a different or reworked idea, for example. Usually though I read it through, nod, file away, eat chocolate, and re-apply elsewhere!
Sympathies on the rejection, but I agree ... great advice.
Yeah, you don't respond to rejections, though if it's detailed, you can send a thank you note, or possibly ask a (polite) question if you don't understand something about it.
I got an unnecessarily snarky rejection once and almost replied with a, "Do you know how rude this is? You could have stopped a less determined writer permanently." ... but did not, of course.
What a sweet (and smart!) little girl :)
You have a great attitude, Nicole - I hope things turn around for you soon :)
You gotta love kids - sometimes they know exactly what to say/do to cheer us up :)
I agree with the others - if it's your typical form rejection, I'd let it go without a response.
You have one smart kid. Rejection letters stink, but she's right. We have to pick ourselves up and move on.
I didn't respond to a rejection from a magazine, even though it invited me to submit again. I think editors are too busy dealing with submissions to read extra email. If it had been a long, detailed, personal rejection, I would have sent a quick thanks, I think.
Bad things so often happen in clusters, why is that? Your daughter sounds wonderful! How good to spend time with her-- and feel better soon!
I love your daughter. I hope Monster Baby grows up to be just like her.
I think I would have to agree, you don't send thanks you's unless an agent or someone sends you a detailed form rejection. I know it's only common curtesy for most of us to dash one off, but they're right, they're so busy and look at tons of e-mail every day, they might not care if you're nice.
And for what it's worth, I'm just an e-mail away if you want to vent. I'm a very good listener.
Smart kid! The advice on the same subject I recently got came from sales...100 nos eventually equals 1 yes (and it only takes one)...so, each no brings you close to the YES! Good luck
As much as I sometimes hate it, this sun of ours can do wonders towards improving a mood sometimes.
Sounds like you have a smart, upbeat daughter, but that doesn't surprise me in the least.
Kids are smart. Sometimes we forget just how smart they are.
Rejections? After my stomach climbs back to its correct anatomical position, I try to figure out the reason for the rejection (if I care about who the rejection was from--sometimes I don't), and see if there's away to improve my query or sample pages. Or maybe it really was subjective.
With the rejection on my current ms (after the agent told me not to give up on the story), I signed up for two writer workshops. Best. Thing. I've done. Ever. I've discovered problems in my writing that none of my crit partners or beta readers pointed out. No wonder I was getting all those rejections.
Out of the mouths of babes. Yea Sydney!
Sweet intelligent girl.
I look at rejections like fine lines that show up around your eyes.
Wait, let me explain before you think that's bad. I love those fine lines, they remind me that I've earned them in years and experience. Now turn around and look at your rejections the same way. Each one represents experience. Sometimes you have to wade a bit, before you can drawn in the beauty of the depths. (Hugs)Indigo
I love Sydney's two minute rule; I'm going to have to remember that! I had a frustrating rejection 2 days ago and my two-year-old was absolutely the best medicine for my grumpiness. :)
I'm sorry to hear about your rejection, Nicole. It seems one of those things that come with the territory for all of us. And your daughter is quite the wise child! I look at rejections as something I can learn from (when they're constructive, of course). I don't usually respond to a rejection letter, but try to gather as much helpful information as I can and use it for future submissions.
I hope you enjoy your sunny day out!
Nevine
boo on rejection! and feeling blue.
on a side note, you were in my dream the other night. I got an offer of representation from this new agent, but he was a little sketchy so i asked for your opinion and you suggested i not sign with him.
So thanks for the dream advice!
Smart smart Sidney. "When you're a writer, that happens." Hear that Nicole? You're a writer! Rejections are the scars we proudly bear. Because rejection means you're writing and submitting and getting out there. Keep it up!
Also... I don't ever respond to form rejections. I've only responded to a rejection once and it was because I received some good feedback and wanted to say thank you. Otherwise, the editors usually don't have time and usually don't care.
Two minutes - that's my new motto!
You have a very itellegent child there, Nicole. That's the greatest quality about kids - no beating around the bush.
In regards to responding to rejections - if it's a form letter, I don't respond, but if they've taken the time to respond personally with a real opinion, I usually reply with a 'thank you' note :)
Out of the mouths of babes, right? I'm sorry you're having such a rough time, Nicole. As your daughter said though it will pass. As far as responses to rejections, the rule of thumb is not to at least those from agents. I'm not sure about ones from magazines. Hope field day perked you up a bit.
I feel it would be unprofessional to respond to a rejection letter. What't the purpose?
Sidney is wise...I hope she keeps that wisdom and doesn't let the burden of adolescence strip it from her.
If you're not being rejected, you're not submitting. If you're not submitting, you've no chance of publication, right? Right. You know this, of course, but it's always nice to know you're not alone in the struggle. I'm shooting for 100 rejections this year, 'cause if I get that, I'll have submitted a LOT, and hopefully gotten a few acceptances along the way.
Keep at it, good lady. Keep your head up, and keep on writing and submitting. We'll be here to cheer you on when you get the inevitable acceptances. :)
You've got a great one there! Sidney sounds so smart.
Keep going - you can only get better. Rejection is only something negative if we let it be!
(And no, I wouldn't respond to a rejection unless it's personalised in some way.)
Smart kid.
And I've never responded to a rejection letter. I asked, they said no, end of conversaion.
For my first rejection, I took a picture of myself holding it. It was how I knew I was a real writer.
If you've ever read Six-Figure Freelancing by Kelly James-Enger, she uses a 24-hr. rule--within 24 hours of a rejection, she immediately sends that editor her next idea, and then sends her original idea to someone else. She figures that keeps her in the editor's mind. I don't seem to be organized enough to do that myself, but it's a great idea.
Sidney is one smart girl. :)
Should a writer respond to a rejection letter? I'm not sure. I've heard some people do and get feedback and most don't. I'd be on the side of not replying and move onwards. :)
Just keep writing and being awesome.
She's a keeper! *hugs across the miles for you* Do you like country songs at all? "Bring on the rain, I'm thirsty anyway!"
Awww your daughter is quite a blessing! I'm sorry about the rejection, I know how it can sting.
I'd been feeling a little down for the past few days about things unrelated to writing, and I agree that a change in attitude can turn those feelings around (usually). Your little one is very smart!
You're lucky to have such a smart daughter! I hope you both have lots of fun at her field day. :)
I have several friends who have replied to rejection letters (I admit, I just sent an email in response to one, myself). None of them received so much as an email acknowledging that the magazine received their inquiry. I think it's not often you get any response to such messages. That said, I also see no harm in attempting to try, especially if you direct pointed questions towards them.
Sidney is a wise young girl. I bet she learned it from her mama!
Not many people understand that happiness is a choice. It's okay to be a sad for a little, but don't let it keep from enjoying what's important–like more writing and watching your daughter's field day! Have fun!!!
What a darling child! Terry Odell at Terry's place just got a rejection on a novel and she's published. So, you might want to check out her blog today.
http://terryodell.blogspot.com/
Tea and sympathy all around! I've read people get hundreds of rejections and still end up getting published. It's like a crap shoot.
Awww, what a sweet child!
Personally I wouldn't respond to rejection letters. I'd think the last thing someone in their position wants is to be bombarded with more emails. To them, it's probably just more to have to read. But if I was on submission with chapters of a book, and then got a rejection, I may send a quick note thanking them for their time and feedback if any.
Hope things look up for you soon!
Sorry to hear about your rejection but wow, what a great kid you have. :) Have fun at field day.
That's wise soul you've got there!
I don't respond to agent rejections. I bite my tongue and move on. I've learned that they really don't seem to want to hear back from their rejects either! (This doesn't include re-querying another work at a later time, though).
I really don't like it when my friends are anything other than happy and exuberant...and I'm helpless to do anything about it. :(
Positive thoughts coming your way!! Give me a holler if you need to vent.
I absolutely agree about happy sometimes being a choice. Smart girl to have caught on to that at age 10!
I don't respond to rejections because so far I haven't been brave enough to actually query - which in my opinion is the ultimate fail.
My friend has a word doc where she writes well crafted responses to all of her rejections and never sends them. She says she always feels better when she's done.
Thanks for finding me so I could find you - love the blog!
That's one smart cookie you're raising! Sounds like very good advice to follow :)
I so love your attitude! And thank God for Field Days. Good for the soul. :)
That's adorable! I just hate it when the kids use my own words against me. It's okay when they encourage me, but not so much fun when the catch me doing/saying something I'm not supposed to....
Your daughter is brilliant! Yes, happiness is a choice. Sometimes in the face of things like rejection letters, it's hard to remember this. It's wonderful that you have such great support!
Sidney is very smart. You should be proud. :)
Also, don't respond to rejection letters. Even if it's to say something nice.
I'm sorry about the bad things going on right now. I'm glad you've got Sidney to cheer you up!
I wouldn't respond to a rejection unless they gave you some critique or an invitation to submit again or something like that.
Sorry to hear you're having a rough go, but you're right - happiness is a choice. It's the the action, it's the reaction.
I hope you had a great day with Sidney.
Sidney sounds like a very wise girl. Thanks for making me smile.
Jai
what a treasure your sidney is!
i know it sounds trite, but keep your chin up!
i chalk every rejection up to learning experience, though it never feels good.
I don't respond to form rejection letters. If an editor/agent takes a few moments to write something personal, then I will thank them.
{{{hugs and smiles sent your way}}}
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