Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Tuesday Teaser


In 2008 I took part in a creative writing workshop that explored the genre of memoir writing. At that time, I'd only written fiction, so stepping outside my comfort zone was exciting and nerve-wracking. Adding to the challenge was the fact that two of the writers taking part in the workshop were hilarious women well-known for their quick humor and funny storytelling styles. One assignment was to write a short comedic piece based on something that happened in our homes. I'm not a comedic writer! But luckily for me, (but not so much for my son), something had happened the night before and became the subject of my workshop homework:






Laughter Is The Best Medicine


Uncontrollable laughter had broken out, the kind that is almost silent except for the occasional snort that perpetuates the hilarity. Still seated around the table, my husband and I, and our two kids had just come to the end of a meal when it happened.


Mealtimes are reverent moments in my household. My husband is French, so for him partaking in a meal involves careful attention to detail and certain protocol. It is insulting to his palette to eat fruit during the same course as the meat. And there is no going back to the meat course once the fruit has been served. I, thankfully, LOVE to cook, and was a willing student under the tutelage of my mother-in-law in the early years of my marriage when she worried that her son would suffer a life-sentence of American fare. What some consider gourmet dishes are mainstays of my daily menus. I am also an avid advocate of eating healthy and exercising, and many heavy sauces and butter-soaked recipes clash with my idea of sane nourishment. So, careful planning goes into each repast, from leisurely weekend meals to time-pressed weekday meals, to ensure a balance of nutrition and taste.


This particular evening, I had chosen a side dish of sliced zucchini, lightly sautéed in olive oil and garlic. My daughter, who is always in a rush for dessert, complained about the vegetable throughout the entire meal.


"This broccoli doesn't look right," she whined.


"It's zucchini and it's delicious. Just eat it."


"It's BROWN," she said.


"It's a little seared. It has more flavor that way. Just eat it."


She pushed it around her plate with her fork. She sighed. "It's gross and mushy." Oh, for heaven's sake. I tried to ignore her.


My son was drinking from his water glass, when suddenly he started to cough. It was one of those coughs that comes from deep in the throat, and seems to have mixed along the way with a burp. His face turned red and his violent coughs would not allow him time to get a breath. My husband thought he was choking, but my mother instincts quickly ruled that possibility out. Just as I knew intuitively that he wasn't choking, I also knew the boy was going to throw up. I knew it, and I didn't want it to happen on my table.


I sprang from my chair and grabbed Cody by the back of the neck, pulling him to his feet with my other hand. I was racing the vomit's arrival, and in the panic lost track of the next installment of my plan. Where should I allow him to vomit? The trash can!... No, no good. He'll have to angle the vomit's trajectory and it'll wind up all over the place. I turned Cody with the back of his neck. The sink! Perfect! I half dragged the choking mess of a boy, a bit surprised that he hadn't heaved by now. Once he was safely held over the kitchen sink, what turned out to be a vomit-free coughing fit subsided. I kept him bent over for safe measure a few moments more, until he finally said, "God, Mom, let me go!" At this point I checked him out properly, making sure he was indeed ok, and gave him a loving escort back to the table.


Everyone asked him if he was alright, and my husband shared how frightened he had been that Cody might have been choking. Cody wiped his still teary eyes with his sleeve and reassured everyone that he was feeling better. My husband said, "You must have swallowed sideways, or something."


My daughter mumbled, "It was probably the broccoli."


She delivered the comic relief that diffused the whole drama, and we roared!




28 comments:

Summer Frey said...

That's great! I love your personal vignettes! And I love the thought of your cooking...Maybe if you're ever short on blog post inspiration, you could share one of these healthier-option, French-acceptable meal plans. :-)

Unknown said...

What a good idea, Summer! And a good idea for all of us -- I'm always on the lookout for new recipes!

Thanks for reading -- heading your way in a couple minutes :))

Anissa said...

That's fantastic! I love it. And yes, do post a recipe. I love finding new recipes as well. You're right. We should all do it!

Tara said...

This was great!

And you reminded me that I will soon have fresh zucchini, broccoli and lots of other yummy things in my backyard...mmm...

Anne Gallagher said...

Mother's instinct, you gotta' love it.

Just hearing you talk about French cuisine makes my mouth water.

Shelley Sly said...

Loved this! Kids say the funniest things with the best timing. I think this was really well-written considering you said memoir wasn't usually your thing at the time. Well done!

Unknown said...

Anissa ~ That's such a good idea, right? :)) A recipe swap is just what I need this time of year, too. I'm ready for summer fare!

Tara ~ I love gardening, too! Unfortunately, I haven't had much luck in GA -- there's been drought and brutally hot summers since I've been here. Fruits and veggies grow great until mid-July, when everything in the garden shrivels up and dies.

Piedmont ~ I served up banquets of French food this weekend...only heavy on the butter and rich sauces. I think I gained 5lbs!!

Shelley ~ Thank you so much! It came out better than I was afraid it would, and ever since I've been able to enjoy writing creative nonfiction. :))

Roxy said...

Loved it. Funny family moments are so great to look back on, and kids do have excellent timing with the one-liners. Thanks for the enjoyable post.

Joanne said...

Family dinnertime stories are the best. There always seems to be something anyone can relate to, we see ourselves at that table!

Now I'm really missing our summer zucchini, grilled outdoors with that olive oil and a little sea salt ...

Kristi said...

This was great! Thanks so much for sharing! I loved getting a little glimpse into your family...I agree with the last commenter...we can definitely all relate!

Just found your blog and will definitely be back!

Julie Dao said...

I loved this story, Nicole! I could see all of you there at the dinner table, talking and laughing over food :) Your cooking sounds heavenly! I was in love with everything I ate when we went to Paris. The French truly do hold a monopoly on cuisine.

Elana Johnson said...

Funny! I think everyone has funny things that happen to them, and it's definitely the broccoli!

sarahjayne smythe said...

I love this. And this?

I was racing the vomit's arrival, and in the panic lost track of the next installment of my plan. Where should I allow him to vomit? The trash can!... No, no good. He'll have to angle the vomit's trajectory and it'll wind up all over the place. I turned Cody with the back of his neck. The sink! Perfect! I half dragged the choking mess of a boy, a bit surprised that he hadn't heaved by now.

Brings back such fond memories. :)

Unknown said...

Roxy ~ Thanks so much!! Glad you stopped by :))

Joanne ~ You and me both! My favorite on the grill is eggplant, sliced lengthwise, scored with a knife, drizzled with olive oil and sprinkled with sea salt. (*sigh*) Soon...

Kristi ~ Thanks for the visit, commenting, and following :))

Julie ~ The French are masters in the kitchen, especially ma belle-mere. I learned from the best!

Elana ~ My daughter agrees with you: It's always the broccoli, in whatever form it's served!

Sarahjayne ~ That's my favorite part, too! Thanks for visiting!!

Jemi Fraser said...

Kids are the best!

I love broccoli & zucchini - my kids like the zucchini - but will only eat broccoli when it's raw.

Val's Dragonfly Whimsy said...

Glad I found your blog - such a lovely family dinner story to share with us - yes, I have a few of those episodes in my home too - it cant be helped with kids around :D

Kimberly Franklin said...

LOL! I think I love your daughter. That line was classic! Love it! : )

Laurel Garver said...

I think my hubby is a secret Frenchman, because he is very reverent about meals being "just so" also, though he does all the cooking. Plates up everything like a restaurant. Garnishes and all. No kidding. It's kind of hard core.

And funniest line: "You must have swallowed sideways." ROFL!

Unknown said...

Jemi ~ My daughter likes raw broccoli, too!

Val ~ Kids are awesome! Thanks for stopping in and following!

Kimberly ~ She's a love :))

Laurel ~ A man that cooks is a beautiful thing! (Does he clean up after himself, or is he like my hubby and leaves a lot of spills in his wake? LOL)

lisa and laura said...

So cute. They're going to love reading this one day.

Phivos Nicolaides said...

Laughter and possitive thinking are the best medicines :):):)

Laura said...

Funny story! I could picture it so well from the way you wrote it!

My daughter absolutely loves broccoli! I am still in utter shock after 12 years. lol

unique FONT said...

wonderful

Kristi Faith said...

Hilarious! I love your blog set up. :) It's very neat and orderly. That and I like the spiral notebook :)

Great blog

Stephanie Faris said...

Those are the best moments, aren't they?

I once read advice to carry a notebook around at all times and jot down moments like these for later use in a book. But I've found it doesn't quite work like that. These things stick in our subconscious and come out in our writing eventually, in their own way!

Mary E Campbell said...

great story - sounds like dinner around our house. Thank you for visiting my blog and for your comments.

Moll said...

You and I have had sort of opposite experiences. In my first writing workshop i was challenged to write fiction since I always wrote memoir...and guess what? I pretty much only write fiction now.

Great vignette. Thanks for sharing!

Unknown said...

This made me giggle... I'm catching up on posts. :) I can completely see my own Sydney saying the same thing! :)