Sunday, May 9, 2010

A Mother's Promise

My children are eleven and ten.  We're standing on the threshold of the teenage years, and a part of me is scared to death.  But it will pass quickly.  Too quickly.  Like our first decade together.  One day, soon, they'll be grown and moved on to live their independent lives.  I wonder how they'll look back on their childhoods?


What I want my children to remember about me as a mother:


That my face lit up each time they entered a room.

That putting their own well-being above my own was a natural reaction and not a choice I felt I had to make.

That I believed in my heart they chose me as their mother, and that I honored that choice every day.

That I was only human and made mistakes, but I understood the importance of admitting my errors and asking for forgiveness.

That I encouraged them to live their own lives, not a life I wished for them.

That I appreciated self-expression in any way it manifested itself in my children.

That I needed my own time, not because I was selfish, but because giving that to myself made me a more centered person and a better parent.

That we laughed A LOT.

That it was okay for us to get mad at each other, healthy even.  But that I was never too proud to make the first move toward reconciliation.

That I was always the last to release a hug.

That I looked them in the eye and said "I love you" every single day.

That I believed kindness and generosity toward others were high priorities in life.

That I wasn't afraid they'd stop loving me if I answered "no."  And if my answer was "no," there was a reason behind it.  I never said "no" because I didn't want them to have fun, or to punish them unfairly.

That I recognized their talents and encouraged their interests (even if I didn't find those things interesting).

That school mattered.  If they got a "C" when they worked their hardest, then I applauded their "C."  If they got a "C" when I knew they could have done better, I came down hard on them.

That I demanded success from them, so they would learn to demand success from themselves.

That I thought they were the coolest people on the planet.

And above all else, I want my kids to always remember how much I love them.  From the day I learned I'd conceived, to the day they were born, beyond the day I die.  I will always, always love them.


Here's to being the best mothers we can be.
Happy Mother's Day, everyone! 

Saturday, May 8, 2010

Blog Love to Spread!

I'm coming off a rough week, but my heart's on the mend.  My blog has been the one thing that kept my mind occupied and my spirits up, and I'm so grateful for each an every post and comment I've read from all of you.  You never know, as you type your thoughts for the day, how much those words will touch another's life.  How powerful writing is!

Receiving blog awards has also been the frequent burst of sunlight on my stormy week.  Thank you so much for thinking of me!  I love to search through my list of awesome followers and choose people to pass the awards on to, including those I haven't visited often enough (reconnect, read what y'all have been saying of late!), new friends (especially those I discovered during Spread the Awesome), and my blogger BFFs.  I truly appreciate everyone who felt compelled to click that follow button!  So, without further ado...

Two sweet bloggers who I adore passed this award to me are E.Elle at The Writer's Funhouse and Julie Dao at Silver Lining.  Thanks, girls!

This goes to:
Victoria Dixon at Ron Empress
Erin at Bookish in a Box
Jamie Burch at Dancing Down Serendipity Street
Mariah Irving at Constantly Risking Absurdity
Gina Maxwell at Passion on Paper



Thank you Jai Josh for this gorgeous award!  Her blog rocks; if you haven't been by to visit, I hope you do so today :)

This goes to:
P.J. Hoover
Milton at KittyChat
Charmaine at Wagging Tales
Jen Chandler at From Inkstained Hands
Emily White at Stepping into Fantasy






I have three wonderful blogging friends to thank for the You Are My Sunshine award!  Wendy at On 'n' On 'n' On, Tori at Head in the Clouds, and Christine Danek at Christine's Journey.
This goes to:
Amber at Musings of Amber Murphy
Janna Qualman at Something She Wrote
Hilary Wagner
SarahJayne at Writing in the Wilderness
Lisa and Laura Roecker



The lovely Angie Paxton passed this awesomesauce award on to me.  She has incredibly insightful posts, please visit her!

This goes to:
Clarissa Draper at Listen to the Voices
Eternally Distracted
Suzanne Hayze at Tales of Extraordinary Ordinariness
Kelly Polark
Tina Laurel Lee at Watch Me Practice



Thank you to a great writer and almost neighbor of mine, VR Barkowski for this award.  She's fantastic; I hope you check out her blog today!

I'm passing this on to:
Danyella Leafty
Heather Dougherty
Shannon Whitney Messenger
Yamille at The Che Boricuas
Miss V at Rambles & Randomness


And finally, thank you to the sweet Laura Marcella at Wavy Lines for awarding me the Superior Scribbler Award.  Check out her colorful blog, you'll love it!

This goes to:
Alexandra Stostak
Emily Ann Benedict at Benedictions
Nevine at Dreams, Deliriums and Other Mind Talk
Amy Jo at Ramblings of a Novice Writer
Steena Holmes at Chocolate Reality





Phew!  That's some crazy linkage, there.  I wish I could link every follower on posts like this, because every one of your blogs has something amazing and unique to offer.  Click the links -- I hope you find new friends from here!!

On a side note:  Please take a minute to click your own profile picture from my Follower's mosaic.  When you do, verify that a link to your blog is visible.  I tried to pass awards on to many people today but couldn't because there's no virtual trail from your profile pic to your blog. :(

I hope you're all enjoying the weekend so far!

Friday, May 7, 2010

Spread the Awesome Contest Winner

WINNER!!
Congratulations to Liz S.!!!

By roll of the virtual dice (a handy feature at Writing.com!), Liz's comment number 65 was drawn, making her the winner of my Spread the Awesome Contest!

Liz won a copy of Among the Hidden, the first book in the seven part Shadow series by
Margaret Peterson Haddix
~AND~
a $25 gift card to Barnes and Noble!

(Liz, please email me your mailing address to heftynicki(at)writing(dot)com.  Thanks!!)

Thanks to everyone who follows my blog!  Meeting you, reading your comments each day, and having the opportunity to follow your blogs make my blogging experience rich and truly amazing.

Have a wonderful weekend! 

Thursday, May 6, 2010

She said, She said...

Conflict is vital to fiction.  No one wants to read a story about happy people who have their lives figured out.  How boring.  And people expect authenticity in the stories they read.  Everyone has issues in life.  Everyone's struggling to work through their problems.  People read fiction both to escape their own lives for a moment and to get lost in a world of other people's problems.


Conflict comes in different forms: with self, with others, with the environment, with society, etc.  Today, because I'm chin deep in conflict with another person in my inner circle, I'll only talk about conflict with others.  Hey, blogging is cheaper than therapy.


When crafting conflict between two characters, keep in mind that there will be more going on besides the central problem facing the characters.  Hone in on the characters' fundamental differences.  Consider the things in their personalities that are inherently contradictory, the things neither see as a problem nor think should be changed.  These are the things that complicate problem-solving and contribute to convincing conflict.


For example, you have a central problem brewing between Character #1 and Character #2, perhaps one accused the other of betraying her confidence in some way.  You can deepen the fictional problem by mimicking reality.  In real life, people hold against each other certain aspects of their personalities or psyches, which become factors when trying to resolve the central problem. 


What if Character #1 is a person who was so affected by her chaotic upbringing, that she developed a strong work ethic, an appreciation for material objects she worked hard to obtain, and a low tolerance for disorganization in herself and others.  Enter the second character, who is spoiled by a life of ease and financial abundance, so that Character #2 is careless with her belongings since there will always be a maid to clean up behind her or a credit card to replace what's missing or broken.  These characters are dealing with a breech in confidence, but their fundamental differences, in real life, would come into play.  Write them into your fiction and you'll have a riveting, believable conflict.


One possible direction to take this example is to have Character #2 feel justified in breaking confidence, because Character #1 is, in her opinion, a judgmental witch.  You could write frustration into Character #1, who feels that Character #2 always plays the "judgement" card.  Character #1 would have been exasperated in the past with Character #2's habitual behavior: always late for get-togethers, forgets to wish Character #1 a happy birthday year after year, offers Character #1 the guest bedroom that's normally where the dog lives (shed fur everywhere, smelly and stained rug, etc.), etc.  Character #2 would, in turn, hate always feeling like she has to apologize for herself to "Miss Perfect" Character #1.


Real life is like this, isn't it?  When there's conflict between people, a fight never stays within the perimeters of the immediate problem.  The past gets dragged into it, personalities and "isms" come into play, and anger just stirs up old, smoldering coals until a new bonfire is blazing.


Conflict in fiction that feels the most authentic mimics real life.  It pays in the long run to spend time writing scenes or short stories about the characters' past interactions, their history together, and the reasons they act and react the way they do in the present.  Even if you don't use those stories verbatim in the novel, your knowledge of the characters' experiences, in life in general and in their history together, will create realistic conflicts and problem-solving.  Readers will readily buy into the characters' predicaments when they mirror both the compassion and the ugly realities of interpersonal relationships.


In preparation of a new WiP, do you write short fiction or vignettes about your characters' experiences outside the time frame of the novel?  Do you write from each character's first person POV, (despite the eventual POV choices of the novel), letting them talk about the other characters?  Is writing therapeutic for you, too?

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Don't Be Blue

Me: Do you want milk on your cereal, sweetie?


Sidney: Yes, please.  Mama?  You look tired.


Me:  I'm just a little sad.  I found out this morning one of my short stories was rejected by a literary magazine.


Sidney:  Oh Mama!  It's okay.  When you're a writer, that happens.  You just gotta be sad for two minutes, then get on up to the next one and be happy.


Pretty good advice, from a ten year old.  There are a lot of things going on right now, bad and hurtful things, things out of my control. Draining my energy.  Zapping my creativity.  The magazine rejection is the latest, though easiest of them all to manage.


But, Sidney's right.  Sometimes, being happy is a choice to make.  Rather than give in to the sadness, the feelings of helplessness and despair, I can power through what I can't change, channeling every force in my heart with intention.  Staying positive, standing tall.  Life's too short to wallow in the negative.


Sidney lifted my spirits with her support.  Now, I'm off to cheer her on through her fourth grade's Field Day.  Sack races, water balloon wars, wet washcloth relays -- all under a cloudless, cerulean sky ruled by the hot, Georgian sun.  May children's laughter sate my soul.


I look forward to reading your blogs this afternoon.  In the meantime, do writers respond to rejection letters, form or personal, from literary magazines? What about rejection letters from agents and publishers?  Any advice is greatly appreciated!


(Artwork by Steve Keefer)




Enter my Spread the Awesome contest -- ends tomorrow!  DETAILS HERE


Happy Cinco de Mayo!

Monday, May 3, 2010

Spread the Awesome!

Photobucket
to Spread the Awesome!


Elana Johnson had the inspired idea to organize a one-day blog series where participating bloggers choose a book which they love, to promote by sharing its merits with the rest of you!  Isn't she brilliant?  I've chosen Among the Hidden, by Margaret Peterson Haddix.

Spread the Awesome blog series is organized as a round-robin, so that once you've finished here you can click the link at the end of this post to go to the next participating blog. 

Enter MY CONTEST at the bottom of this post to win a cool prize!


Margaret Peterson Haddix describes the plot of Among the Hidden on her website like this:

    "Luke has never been to school. He's never had a birthday party, or gone to a friend's house for an overnight. In fact, Luke has never had a friend.

    Luke is one of the shadow children, a third child forbidden by the Population Police. He's lived his entire life in hiding, and now, with a new housing development replacing the woods next to his family's farm, he is no longer even allowed to go outside.

    Then, one day Luke sees a girl's face in the window of a house where he knows two other children already live. Finally, he's met a shadow child like himself. Jen is willing to risk everything to come out of the shadows--does Luke dare to become involved in her dangerous plan? Can he afford not to?"



I was introduced to Among the Hidden after my fourth grade daughter read it for her school library's Battle of the Books challenge.  Sidney loved it, saying the characters were people she really cared about. She said the ending was "so good!" and couldn't wait for me to finish so we could talk about it.  She only had to wait one day.  I devoured this book!


Haddix's story is fast-paced and full of suspense.  I was pulled into her world to contemplate what it would be like living in a society where free will was abolished, and cruel government policies trumped parental decision-making.  The story spurred lengthy discussions, as Sidney and I talked about the possible consequences of over-population and depletion of natural resources, both within the context of the book and in our real lives.  I reminded her that the book was purely fictional, but that the themes of restricted free will and strict government control were valid topics to consider.


We are both working our way through the rest of the seven book series.  The titles of all the Shadow books are:


Among the Hidden
Among the Imposters
Among the Betrayed
Among the Barons
Among the Brave
Among the Enemy
Among the Free

Among the Hidden, as well as the other books in the Shadow series, is recommended for children in grades 5-8 (reading level 9-12).

Please be sure to visit the next blog on today's Spread the Awesome blog series:
the lovely B.J. Anderson

For a list of all bloggers participating in today's Spread the Awesome series, CLICK HERE!


~Before You Go!~

It's contest time!  There are seven books in Margaret Peterson Haddix's Shadow series.  I'm giving away one new copy of Among the Hidden AND a $25 gift card to Barnes and Noble, to get you started on the rest of the collection (or any another book of your choice!).

~To ENTER~

You must be a follower :)  Simply leave me a comment below AND leave B.J. a comment on her blog!  Drawing will be Friday, May 7th at noon, EST. Winner will be announced shortly after.
Everyone is eligible to win, including Spread the Awesome participants!



Friday, April 30, 2010

Different Methods for Different Writers

I've been reading blogs this morning, and have decided not to write my own post.  Instead, I'd like to promote a wonderful series happening today, started by the always entertaining Tawna Fenske at Don't Pet Me, I'm Writing.

Tawna's readers have asked what her writing methods are.  In response, she enlisted the help of five other writing bloggers, and the six of them have each written a post describing their personal approach to a novel, from curser blinking on a blank page to "The End" on the final draft.  I found their methods fascinating in their similarities and their differences.

For inspiring insight into the methods of other writers, check out these participating blogs today:

Tawna Fenske
Sean Ferrell
Cynthia Reese
Linda Grimes
Nelsa Roberto
Kiersten White


Have a wonderful weekend!